Be Your Own Medical Advocate
You know what would be great? If everything was black or white. You know, sort of like how Republicans see the world. Then we would know for certain that Big Pharma was full of evil sadistic baddies out to get us or that Holistic Medicine was just for crazy people. Wouldn’t life be so much easier?
OMG that pill is glaring at me! What the heck have I been taking???
But it’s not, and this is what we’ve got. I admit that I have leaned more toward the “let’s trust the guys who have had years of education more than we trust the people who throw pixie dust in a jar and say it cures warts, Cancer, and dandruff.” Yet as I’ve grown, and had children, and been faced with many medical situations, I’ve realized that the ones we should really trust are not the doctors or the alternative medicine people. We have to trust ourselves.
Doc 1: Have you gotten down to the wallet yet?
Doc 2: Pulling out the Benjamins now.
This is a tough thing to do sometimes, especially if you are dealing with your child. Recently, my youngest (I fondly call her Thing Two) got sick with a cough and a fever. I took her to the doctor and they examined her and found out that pneumonia has been partying at our house lately and gave her an antibiotic. I filled it and then measured out a dose for her. It was a very small dose – just one ml three times a day and there were two bottles of the stuff. That seemed strange. But, well, those were the instructions. So I followed them.
Thing Two didn’t get better. She got worse and started vomiting. I couldn’t figure it out. I’d been giving her medicine for over three days. I mentioned how weird everything was with the medicine and my mother suggested calling the pharmacy. I asked the pharmacist about the dose, and she said, “Oh, yes, you’re supposed to give her 1 tsp. three times a day.”
Let’s see, tsp, tbsp, ml, cm, 2 cups . . .
what was that dosage supposed to be? Eh, nevermind.
“It says one ml on the bottle,” I said, and glanced at the dosing syringe. One ml, by the way, is roughly a fourth of a tsp, which is what I should have been giving her, according to the pharmacist. I was alarmed. You’d think the pharmacist would be scrambling to cover her behind. She just suggested I give her a larger dose that night. Yeah, not with her already throwing up because she’d gotten worse thanks to your screw up!
So I took her back to the doctor and explained what happened. He prescribed a new antibiotic and breathing treatments. Late that evening, my husband picked up the stuff from our pharmacy. He came back with albuterol for the breathing treatments. No antibiotic.
Okay. Now I’m pissed.
At this point, Pissed-Off Mama-Bear-that-Could-Eat-Sarah Palin-In-a-Heartbeat had made her appearance. My husband called the after-hours clinic and found out the doctor had forgotten to call the antibiotic in – you know, the antibiotic that was supposed to fix the antibiotic the pharmacy had goofed on, causing Thing Two to get so much sicker. The only pharmacy still open was 15 minutes away. My husband made the trek after having worked two jobs that day. I stayed home with Thing Two and worried. She’d missed four days of school from this, and couldn’t even hold ice chips down. I saw hospital visit for intravenous fluids in our future – too soon after my own hospital trip.
Fortunately, she did get better within a few days. The new antibiotic, with the correct dose this time, worked quite well. But I remain wary. I realize that doctors and pharmacists are human and make mistakes. The problem is that their mistakes can be very, very costly to us. Had they given her too much medicine instead of too little, it could have been even worse.
I thought back to when I gave her that first dose and how something had told me that it was wrong. But what did I do? I ignored that thought. What did I know? I’m not a doctor. But I was a mother, an adult woman of 36 with a decent education, and I had intuition. Too often we ignore our basic intuition. Too often we rely solely on the experts – whether holistic or those of modern medicine. We can’t afford to do that.
I’ll take good care of you. Wait, gotta meet McDreamy in the broom closet!
We have to trust our instincts. We have to make our lists and check them twice. We have to be our own medical advocates, because you can be certain no one, not even the kindest healer, cares about your health, or your child’s health, as much as you do. I’m not telling this story as a scare tactic, or to put down pharmacists or doctors. I am telling this story to point out that nothing is black and white, no one is such an expert he can’t be questioned, and we should trust ourselves to make sure everything checks out. If we don’t, we might not ever get another chance.
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Reblogged this on aliceatwonderland and commented:
Hey, all, I’m ranting over at Le Eric’s Black Box Warnings today. Check it out!
I faced these challenges with my boys when they were young. I had to rely on my grandmother’s recipes when antibiotics failed. Sometimes they did the job, other times they made things worse. I think we should have a class in high school or college that would teach us about health and nutrition – just to save lives. It might help alleviate the “congestion” at the waiting rooms in most hospitals. It might even help the medical industry evolve.
Yes. I remember I passed up the chance to take Homemaking (back when it was still offered) to play with egg babies. My thought was “I’m going to work. I don’t need to know homemaking stuff.” Like, DUH, did I think I was never going to be in my house? I was stupid. And yeah, my nutrition totally sucks. I keep meaning to do better, but when you can get a sausage biscuit for a dollar at McDs and it costs outrageous amounts to get organic food, not to mention tons of time you don’t have, which do you choose?
This is completely right on. I’m thinking of my own fabulous tonsil experience at the moment. We have to be our own advocates because no one else is sure as shit looking out for us.
No kidding. Did you ever get in to see another doctor? Are you still having the surgery – eventually?
Oh, this reminds me of the experience when my daughter was 5 months and got an ear infection. I took her to the emergency doctor (because they always get sick after hours) and he prescribed an antiboitic. Took us forever to get this 5ml of meds into this tiny baby and then she kept vomiting it all up. So on the Monday I immediately took her to my GP and it turns out the dosage was for a five year old child!
Absolutely must trust your instincts!!
Yes, always after hours. They time it that way. Good grief. So glad the baby was okay.
Nurse practioners can be a grab bag too. I had one that couldn’t diagnose chicken pox in my daughter. The main doctor walked in, took one look, said chicken pox. Just – really? After that I insisted on seeing the regular doctor. You pay the same anyway.
Don’t even get me started on the office staff!
I think your intuition will never lie, you just need to learn to trust it. It’s a battle between a feeling we get and what a doctor orders; anyone in their “right” mind would follow what a medical professional, having gone to school for a half their lives, would suggest. But there are times when things just don’t feel right, and somehow we know. I’m glad this all worked out, thanks to your quick thinking and mommy-instincts.
Part of the problem, I think, is that general practioners in particular are always overburdened. Too many patients, and of course they will schedule three for the same time slot. You can’t be a good doctor and simultaneously keep that many appts. My doctor is always late, because he’s generally very good and cares about his patients, and his nurse is wonderful – like family. But that’s a lot to keep in your head, day after day after day.
They make mistakes because there is so much to do, which is why we have to watch out for ourselves. I’ve returned prescriptions with penicillan in them (which I’m allergic to) – you have to check the ending – if there’s an illan on it, like, say amoxicillan, don’t take it. That sort of stuff. Pharmacies try to save money by hiring techs, who aren’t always trained well. I could say “that’s it, no more mistakes, I’m going somewhere else” but it’d be the same elsewhere. Not sure the answer.
Thanks for the compliment, but I also thank my mom for telling me to call the pharmacist. Despite my cynical nature, I tend to trust in authority first. I’m getting over that as I age and learning to trust those instincts. They can save your life in so many ways. Sorry for the novel response.
Alice– I’m liking the novella you replied with.
So true that everyone is overburdened — doctors, nurses, and parents alike! We can barely think straight some days, so getting a prescription filled – and taking it – may seem like the easiest thing to do in a day.
Glad you did call the pharmacists (way to go your Mom).
I’m also cynical but like to believe there are somethings I can depend and lean on. I guess we can never be too careful.
Doctors are in and out, sometimes in less than 5 minutes. We had some terrible experiences when we were on HIP (public health insurance through the state). Regardless of their years of education, doctors aren’t going home with you. They’re trained to be careful because no one wants to be sued, but things happen. And I think especially as females, we think, “Oh, I don’t want to seem whiny and paranoid.” So we let things slide, usually to our own detriment.
Good for you for not letting things slide!!
Oh, yes, I’ve had my share of bad doctors, which is why I stick with one that treats me like a human no matter what. I had one who was so ticked that my obgyn had a baby a week before I did and he got stuck w/ me that he ran me through one of those exams like a car wash. If that happened to me now, I’d be threatening to sue, I think. I like to think that. I tend to think up responses much better than the ones I give.
But yeah, there is nothing like something threatening your child to make you strong.
I’m a nurse, but I’m a mom first, and I always go with my gut when it comes to my children, even if it means disagreeing with their pediatrician. I’ve always said to people doctors are fallible, like all of us, and finding a great doctor is like finding a great mechanic. Shop around…and if you don’t like the doctor you have, you have the right to fire him/her, and get a new one. Medicine is a business and we are the consumers.
Some doctors get really mad when you try to suggest what works for you, they refuse to listen. I have knee problems, sport injuries, they are quick to prescribe a shot right in your knee, which is painful and leaves you crippled for a week, whenever I try to explain alternatives that have work in the past they are sure to let me know they know better. Back in college I had to take it like a man, now I fight and if they don’t listen I walk out.
Children teach us to trust our instincts. It’s a freaking tough lesson sometimes though. You go Mama Bear!
Thank you. I really can be a bear, which is why my husband went to go fetch the medicine that time – so I didn’t actually physically bite the head off those people.
It’s always best to double check with the pharmacist when you’re standing there, picking up the prescription. Because that’s when you can head off problems. Most pharmacists appreciate your questions (seriously, they don’t want to screw up, either), some don’t but tough noogies for them. I am also very anti-CVS because they have screwed up every single prescription I have given them in the past 3-4 months.
Medicines are strong chemicals and they need to be taken correctly and as directed. (That applies to OTC too.) Even then, shit can happen. But your advice to do all you can do to be your own advocate is absolutely spot on.
[I actually work in drug safety, although I can't tell you any secrets. But check that you have the right medicine, that they wrote down the right dose, that it is what your doctor told you he/she was giving.] I am not generally big on natural remedies; not because they don’t work, but that they work inconsistently and there is WAY less monitoring and no FDA regulation on how they do it (including cleanliness of facilities, etc.)
Full disclosure — I am a FAKE medical professional (a writer, not a scientist). I am, however, a REAL expert patient.
I generally feel the same way as you do with the alternative medicine. I wish there was more regulation there. That is an excellent idea – to ask the pharmacy what I’m getting. Often I send my husband to get the stuff, and the transfer of info doesn’t always work. So it’d be better to go myself. All good ideas. I haven’t used CVS much, unless it was something I just couldn’t get at Wal-Mart. Weirdly enough, Wal-Mart is usually pretty good at prescriptions – this is the first time anything like that has happened.
It’s especially hard if he’s tired from two jobs! It is one of my biggest worries about health care. When I get sick, I get stupid. Then I need another advocate — and my husband is a good one. But I always worry about folks who live alone, or whose spouse is traveling, or who are too shy to speak up and ask.
You make a very good point Alice. I don’t know how many times when my kids were young that I heard that “little voice” that I sometimes ignored because I thought someone else knew better than I did. You are right. Sometimes, we have to trust ourselves.
Thanks. It’s a tough thing to do.
What a draining experience that must have been for you. There’s nothing more scary than worrying about your child’s health. I’m shocked, too, because pneumonia can be quite critical very quickly. Thing Two very easily could have been hospitalized. I’m glad the situation improved with the new meds. I think you’re right, we must trust ourselves. I think nothing can quite compare to a mother’s instincts. Thanks for sharing this.
Thank you. As it turned out, she didn’t have pneumonia, but she did have a ton of mucus (which was what she was throwing up). More like a sinus infection. Hard to tell considering the whole mess w/ wrong meds. Sick kids are NOT fun. I think we should make teens watch young children be sick for a while. Best birth control ever.
WOW! I’m so glad Thing Two got better! It is sad that doctors’ mistakes can be so costly. I definitely think it’s good to be leery and take what they suggest with a grain of salt sometimes.
Thanks, Jill. I was so worried about her that I let her get a hermit crab so she would smile. And now it’s escaped its shell and its cage and just oh grosss.
It escaped it’s shell??!? I’ve definitely never seen that before… maybe you should’ve gotten a guinea pig. At least they’re soft and squeaky
It’s true, we know our own bodies best. If something isn’t right, then we need to keep on to get it sorted out, and the sooner the better. I think this goes hand in hand with Movember – if cancer, or any illness, is caught in the early stages, it’s a lot easier to treat and statistically at least has a higher chance of being completely cured. And while I’m not a parent, I can understand wanting the best for your kids and wanting them to be well, and the whole cross-mama-bear thing when a professional screws up.
True. That’s why Movember is so important – men are statistically more likely to be too “tough” to go to the doctor, so they do miss that stuff. Of course, my husband is the healthiest member of the family and almost never gets sick. I guess it’s good to have one person healthy.
Someone did some research into health and how long people live. It turns out that men live longer if they’re married (because the wife looks after them and nags them to go to the doctor) but women live longer single (probably because they don’t have to nag a husband into going to the doctor)!
Nobody knows us better than we do. Being a doctor is a job, and everyone makes mistakes in their jobs. You are just one person among many that they see, and sometimes that means you don’t get the proper care. You HAVE to advocate for yourself, totally agreed.
That’s for sure. I’ve learned that from my own medical issues too. Another tip is to bring someone sensible with you. I knew fever was weird for me, but I had fever, so I was too loopy to explain this. Bring a friend!
We headbutted with countless doctors when it came to Offspring the First. At one point it was quite literally life or death. It wasn’t until we lay down on the floor and made an almighty tantrum that we finally got to see the specialist cardiologist who ordered immediate surgery, like yesterday. Offspring the First may well not have been around today had we not insisted. Doctors know good, parents know better.
I am so familiar with the almighty tantrum! It wasn’t as life and death, but when Thing Two was around 20 months, she kept being sick and they kept shifting us around to different doctors each time, and no one kept notes.
They put her on the BRAT diet, and then my friend noticed she had a rash and suggested it might be allergies. Turned out, she was allergic to bananas – the B in the Brat diet. Whoops. I felt like I should have paid my mom friend for that catch. Poor baby would have sick for much longer if not for her! Anyway, after that, I made the pediatrician put us in a special folder that said we MUST be seen by her only. One of the first instances of my “inner bitch.”
Absolutely. I have found the same results with my own medical crap, that more often than not, I know my own body better than any medical professional.
Cause it turns out individual bodies are not just like the textbook. Go figure.
And it turns out that I spend more time with my body than 15 minutes while wrapped in a roll of tissue paper.
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