The Disease
(Many thanks and apologies to His Lordship, Le Clown, and his fictional alter ego L’Eric for allowing me to disgrace his blog with my weird ramblings. Of course, if you like such nonsense – come visit me on kenthinksaloud. Anyway, here goes…)
I don’t know how we caught the disease but we did.
This was my family (Photo credit: Scott Beale)
We were a normal family but then, four years ago, we moved to Bangladesh to do voluntary work . Maybe it was there we caught it? From a dirty tap, perhaps? From unwashed hands? From eating too many chillies? All I know is, one minute we had nothing wrong with us and the next we had…ADHD.
For those of you who may not know the term, the letters stand for: Attention Deficit Look! Squirrel! (Boring old text books tell you the last part is Hyperactivity Disorder but they’re wrong…). It is a terrible disease and we are cursed.
We must be because that’s what people tell us. With so many writing books on how to ‘fix’ it and so many disapproving looks from people when ADHD is mentioned in connection to my family, they just can’t all be wrong, can they? After all, no one likes to unjustly criticise or judge others harshly. Surely?
What’s more, back when we weren’t lepers and were a decent, respectable British family, I already knew that ADHD was a dirty, nasty disease that only bad people got. I knew it because I am a teacher and teachers are never wrong. Really. Not ever.
The Teacher’s Curse
I knew that at my school back in the UK that there were certain children in my classes who were diseased. I’d read the reports. I’d seen how this thing operated. In fact, I think the current vogue of Zombie movies, Rage virus scenarios and so on are based on these infected children. A child could, at any time, fly into a rage, destroy a classroom or put another child in danger (or much worse, touch a teacher, for crying out loud).
The expert advice was this: Dose them up until they are barely conscious with Ritalin or something similar. For teachers – it worked!
I had one kid in my music class. He was polite, quiet, not especially musically talented but got on with stuff without any issues. Once a week he would have a lesson near lunch and, at a set time, he would quietly ask permission/remind me that he had to go get his medicine from the Special Needs unit. This went on, as far as I recall, for two years; week in, week out.
It was during the second year that I was told by other staff that this kid was a crazed murderous monster if he didn’t have his Ritalin. There was no doubt about it. Despite never seeing any evidence myself of any ADHD kid causing trouble of any sort, I knew that the only way to control these infected animals was to dose them on the stuff that would make them…controllable.
ADHD doesn’t Exist
Then I started to read in the newspapers that the damned thing doesn’t exist at all! There was no evidence for it, experts said, not one experiment proving any abnormality at all. You can find several websites still claiming this. To be fair, most of them are knocking the big pharmaceuticals companies for putting thousands of kids on Ritalin who really don’t need to be on it. (Once such website is http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/john_breeding.html I find it difficult that, despite the obvious paranoia and conspiracy theory theme to this site, I sympathise with many of the complaints listed here.) There is something to be said for this but years ago I was shocked by quotes like this (found on http://www.adhdfraud.net/commentary/4-27-02-1.htm) :
“The pharmaceutical industry, psychiatry and all organized medicine (lead by medical academia) and agents and agencies of the US Government have conspired to make unending millions believe they have “diseases” mental “diseases” to make “patients” out of them.” Fred A. Baughman Jr., MD
Not only did these diseased pests need doping on drugs but they were actually faking it!
It was all lies. There was no ADHD, no excuse for the difficulties experienced in classes, no reason for the misbehaviour, the anger, the frustration, the messy or half-finished work. Kids with ADHD are just lazy, naughty and spoiled brats. A damned good spanking and parents who could be bothered to actually discipline their children for once instead of letting them get away with murder was simply all that was needed.
I still lived in fear of the blighters in the classroom, of course, never knowing when it would turn out one hadn’t taken his medicine that day and BOOM!…the kid would explode in fury. At the same time, though I try to treat all students with great respect and care, inside I sneered a little at the fakers pretending to need ‘special treatment’ when they just needed a good shake. I hadn’t figured out that I was holding two contradictory theories in my head.
After all, I had no personal experience of ADHD in my life to go on; I knew no one who had it during my childhood and my daughter, Thing I, by 2008 was growing up to be very bright and well-behaved in class while my son, Thing II, was only five and just starting in school. He seemed fine and had all ten fingers and toes. Nothing else mattered
There was nothing wrong here at all…
Catching the Disease
Once in Bangladesh, all started fine and the Thing I certainly adjusted well to the challenges that learning in a new culture, language and group of friends presents. My son, however, wasn’t managing so well during that first year and it was my Wifey who first started to worry and suggest he might have ADHD.
Absolutely no way! I said.
My son making friends with a stranger in Darjeeling. This is quite normal for him…
It was clear to me that he was growing up just like I did. His lack of concentration in class and with homework – I remember that well. His messy handwriting and inability to draw – oh my goodness that was me! One junior school teacher referred to my handwriting as being “like a spider dipped in ink and allowed to scurry across the page”. It is still awful now and I never mastered the art of ‘joined up writing’. Thing II was simply growing up just like me.
In other words: completely normally.
But the situation got worse and the teachers became increasingly unable to cope with him. They began to hint that he was being lazy and you could tell that they thought we were letting him get away with murder. In fact, despite doing their best to help with a situation they just didn’t understand, the teachers were making us feel same way I had thought of those parents of ADHD ‘fakers’ back in the UK.
Lights were beginning to come on in my head.
I finally consented to let a visiting Psychiatrist and friend of ours assess Thing II and see what he thought. He can put our minds at rest, I thought, and confirm there’s nothing wrong with him and no need for any label such as ADHD.
I was horrified when our psychiatrist friend confirmed that there was little doubt about it – our son had ADHD. What’s more, he suggested that it might well be hereditary and asked my wifey if anyone else in the family had it.
My own wife turned on me.
Oh yes, she told him with something of an evil glee, his father is just the same.
It took me until a year later, after getting used to the idea that, perhaps Thing II might have ADHD, before I consented to our psychiatrist friend, again visiting, to assess me as an adult.
We talked for several hours and he asked many probing questions about my past and who I am now. In the end, he was quite certain I had ADHD too. Incredibly, I found it liberating as I had come to understand just what ADHD is, what it isn’t. (Read more about this here)
ADHD does exist and isn’t a disease
With help from our Psychiatrist friend and after researching several books, I found that ADHD is only a curse when the environment around it will not budge and accommodate it. In other words, the disease doesn’t lie with the ADHD: it lies with society.
The argument is this: Centuries ago, men worked the fields, did heavy lifting building work and so on. Boys would have begun doing similar not that long after they could walk, growing into the roles. Boys today are genetically disposed, then, to have a lot of physical energy and to be in an environment where changes of task and awareness of danger meant the ability to move fast and change focus quickly were essential.
My boy getting rid of some of that energy by dancing at a big Bangladeshi festival
It is only the last 150 years or so that society has demanded that boys now sit behind desks and focus for long periods of time on a single task (I’m focusing on boys here as most kids with ADHD are boys – but the theory modified holds with girls too). We teachers are actually asking boys to do something totally alien to what society prepared their genes for.
Boys with ADHD who manage to survive this clash of interests, survive the school experience and harness the incredible skills that it gifts them with, usually become exceptional in adulthood. In fact, I believe that the term for such winners in psychiatric circles is ‘Twice exceptional’ or ‘2e’.
This was me and I never knew it. I used my ADHD to my advantage. For example, I discovered back when I was teenager that if I moved from subject to subject swiftly, I could cover more subjects, new learning and revision yet never get bored – something that was all too common in my slow-moving lessons! It took me from a ‘lazy’ boy who was ‘failing to reach his potential’ to passing all my exams when I was 16. This is still working for me nearly 30 years on. I’m stimulated all the time and I love it!
ADHD as a gift
Unknown to me, I’ve been trying to convert my students to ADHD for 20 years (read more about how here)! It’s led to many students going on to do music degrees that have been very strong in many areas. One, still at university, was recently short-listed for Britain’s Composer of the Year award along with many famous names. I’m immensely proud of her.
ADHD, well handled and managed, can be a gift for every child who can survive the rigid school system and beat the criticisms of those who still see it as a ‘disease’ and something needing ‘fixing’.
We’re still working out just what that means, practically, for our son. We’re supporting him as much as we can to make school as positive as possible as he still gets harsh, negative comments at times. We’ve seen his incredible brilliance in maths and how he fails to show it in a maths test because he just can’t concentrate that long.
In the Sundarbans. With crocs in the water and tigers on the side, were we worried? Naaaa….
We’ve sometimes wondered whether we should give him medicine – like Ritalin – to help him concentrate more. But at the moment, we’re not. For some, it is the right answer, there’s no doubt. But for now, we think the pzazz, the creativity, the wildness and the pure, unadulterated joy he has for the world is too special for the sake of doing a little better at school. He’s doing ok and he is progressing well. We may change our minds eventually but that’s okay too. Right now it’s clear that almost all his problems are actually not his but belong to those around him.
Thing II today – he’s a brilliant photographer
I don’t blame them, of course. It’s hard not to be frustrated. I’ve nearly throttled him several times a la Homer Simpson-style when giving him a piano lesson and there have been ‘squirrels’ everywhere – distractions, most of them busying around in his head. Then, next lesson, he’ll play me a complex Baroque piece perfectly because he managed to concentrate during his daily practice! He’s incredible! – but he’s also deeply infuriating.
Funnily enough, my wifey says just the same thing about me.
Thankfully, she loves us both.
The Family von thinksaloud
Related articles
- ADHD study reveals children’s views (guardian.co.uk)
- Your Parent’s Name, and Yours, is Adderall (formingthethread.wordpress.com)
- Day 10 of 31: ADD/ADHD – Pharmacological Intervention – the final (myorbit365.wordpress.com)
- Psychiatrists Drugging Children for “Social Justice” (afteramerica.wordpress.com)
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I love that you have shared your story here, Ken. Your family’s story, I should say.
I kept thinking, though (because I happen to be madly in love with a young lady who has ADHD): what if we replaced that word “fixing”, with a choice like managing instead? Perhaps it’s my own background with mental health and labels and learning what does and doesn’t work, and what’s me and what’s the world in which I live. But I think if we speak about managing instead of fixing, there is no implication that anything is broken. At the worst, we just have to be conscious and adapt differently, as one does when one has asthma. But really, to me it just speaks of developing skills to help thrive.
Your thoughts, Mr. thinksaloud?
Oh, and I didn’t express to you how sensitively you articulated the situation, while still managing not to make things too heavy. You did such a beautiful job. I guess Amory really does get it from you.
Ruby,
I do love that idea…. The one about managing instead of fixing. It sounds more empowering to me…
Same goes when we talk about any “disorders”: I personally prefer: living with bipolar than having bipolar …
Le Clown
Finally had a comment eaten by WP. Once again. . .
I very much agree that it is very empowering, as in we are in charge of things, instead of letting them (the disorder, the world) dictate to us how we act/feel/live.
As far as bipolar terminology, I am somewhat unusual in that I say I am bipolar. But, I say it in just the same way that I say I am a writer, I am a brunette, I am a daughter, I am a bibliophile. It’s one thing that’s part of my makeup, one thing of many, and I accept that and don’t fight with it (but I completely understand why others might not feel the same).
As far as the anxiety disorders I have dealt with, though. they are an entirely different story. I am not “living with them” or even “managing them”, I don’t accept that they will be part of my life forever, so I have kicked them the fuck out the door.
Ruby,
You are wonderful.
Le Clown
Monsieur Le Clown,
Merci très avec bonté.
Ruby
(I hope I got that right.)
Butting in to both your’s and Ruby’s discussion, I can understand both reasonings and think we have to take/use whatever language works for us and communicates what ‘bipolar’ or ‘ADHD’ means for us to others. In my case, I would probably lean Ruby’s way and say “I HAVE ADHD” rather than “live with ADHD” because the words are loaded with baggage. I have it – that’s a fact and it is neutral. To ‘live with it’ makes it sound a burden which it most certainly is not.
However, if I was was / lived with bipolar I might well have found different meanings attached to those same words and gone Le Clown’s way.
Does that make sense?
I am with you Le Clown. My son has Spina Bifida, he is developmentally delayed and he’s physically disabled. He suffers from all those things, but it’s not WHO HE IS. He has the conditions, the conditions don’t have him.
I think you have an excellent point Ruby (as always) and one I pretty much agree with. We ‘manage’ Thing II’s ADHD (or try to) but a lot of that management is actually trying to manage his learning environment. It is acknowledging that actually, as much as he has to work at adjusting to the conditions around him, so the school environment has to adjust to him (and several others in the school who currently are seen more as ‘trouble’)
In other words, I think that ‘managing’ is a great term as long as it is all parties managing themselves rather than one party ‘managing’ another (which, of course, is just ‘fixing’ by another name).
What d’ya think Ms Tuesday?
Oh and seeing your second comment, THANK YOU! That is really very kind – you don’t want to know how nervous I’ve been about how people would react to this. Not everyone gets my sense of humour…
And thank you, again, for your kind support of Amory. It has been wonderful to see good friends like you Ruby supporting my daughter’s blog. You’re a star
I was truly moved and impressed by this, so much so that you may want to take a peek at the Canvas fb page, I have taken the liberty of sharing it there as well as in our Twitter feed. I think you struck a very good balance of levity and gravity (hm, that actually sounds suspiciously like what I meant).
As for Amory. . . She is decidedly so much more than I expected. I thought it was going to be a cute little “friend’s daughter” thing, but she has truly captured me in her own right, and I’m very excited to see what she turns out down the line.
Ooooh..
I will indeed go check out Canvas’s FB site – just after I’ve fed that daughter of mine and the son too (of course 
)
Thank you again, Ruby, for everything
I agree with you wholeheartedly, Ken. I mayn’t have expressed things properly, as I was writing from my phone and my brain is a bit (really, really) cloudy. But when I say managing, I guess I’m looking, again, from my perspective; to me it is implied that as much as I manage myself, I also manage my environment and everything about it. From the people I have in my life, to the expectations I accept or dismiss in the world at large, I consider it wholesale managing of everything. I am not the only element that needs managing, just as your son is not. As his father, it is your role to take on the management of the other factors in his life — environment, people, expectations — and, perhaps most importantly, to guide him to learn to manage all of those things for when he is grown and on his own.
Does that make more sense? I hope it makes more sense. I may have my computer now, but I’m afraid the brain is still in decline. This is such a wonderful piece, I wish I could do it more justice in my responses.
You’re making total sense Ruby (worryingly, I think I tend to get you even when you are feeling at your most ‘scrambled’! What does that tell you about me? I’ll let you decide that one…). I agree completely and particularly love this bit you wrote:
“As his father, it is your role to take on the management of the other factors in his life — environment, people, expectations — and, perhaps most importantly, to guide him to learn to manage all of those things for when he is grown and on his own.”
That last bit is the real key. I don’t care how much support and change to his environment he needs now as long as that leads to him becoming a confident young man who can handle his life for himself in years to come. What else could a dad wish for? Apart from grandchildren of course…
The way you discuss the various terminologies above makes complete sense to me, Ken. I think it’s a very personal choice based on so many things. Both “live with” and “have” can be made negative or positive, given the way in which they are used (and who is using them). I do think it’s interesting how infrequently people are willing to use the term “I am”, with regard to bipolar disorder, ADHD, or pretty much anything (excepting something like PTSD, because saying “I am post-traumatic stress disorder” sounds patently absurd). I think it stems from a fear of over-identification, and often — but not always — the people I find who do say “I am bipolar” have made the disease too big a part of their lives. Likewise, the people who get really angry if you say that they are bipolar sometimes have issues with under-identification. Again, these are generalizations, and there are lots of exceptions (like me
).
Can’t argue with that Ruby! I think you are spot on with your observations even allowing for their generalizing nature – we can’t avoid that really, can we?!
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Excellent post! So glad you shared
Thank you, it was my privilege to have the opportunity. Thanks for popping over to my own little place too and having a look. Hope to see you again Jenni!
a very insightful and heart written post enjoyed it a lot
Thanks Bruce! I’m so pleased you liked it. With my own writings I can take the heat if I ‘mis-fire’ and cause offence, but when you’re on someone else’s turf, you want to get it right! So your affirmation means a great deal to me.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing this. My son has ADHD and I am bipolar. He was not diagnosed until middle school and it has been a very hard road for him in the upper grades. He has convinced us that he is philosophically opposed to homework, but I believe he just can’t focus on it long enough to get it done. I will try to introduce him to the concept of doing all of his homework (or at least some of it) at the same time and bouncing back and forth between the two.
I do believe there is value in approaching ADHD as a management issue. My son is very bright and passed through elementary school easily but never learned the time management and coping and organizational skills he needed once his lessons outstripped his ability to compensate with intelligence. I am quite certain that he will not be accepted at the universities and colleges he has targeted and that he will need to attend a junior college first. He has very mediocre grades that don’t reflect his intellect at all. We are considering putting him back on medication, but it can’t be anything related to Ritalin; he loses far too much weight (as much as 2 lbs per month) on it.
Anyway, sorry for the word dump. In short, your post is very valuable and I’m glad you wrote it.
No, thank you for writing all of that. It is special to be given a window into the life of someone else as a result of one’s own writing.
My post was already going on far too long and I had to cut HUGE amounts of it to get it to this size. In fact, I will probably do an ‘unofficial’ part two on my own blog to put together all the good stuff I had leave out! Part of that ‘stuff’ was a section where I gave a little more depth to just how I ‘managed’ my ADHD – and how I manage it still nigh on 30 years later.
I found I got mediocre grades until I was 14 and finally the level of school work matched my intellect and I couldn’t just wing it any longer. At the same time, I finally became interested in the work – probably because it finally stimulated me intellectually. My boredom threshold, though, was and still is very, very low. I just cannot concentrate on one thing for very long unless I am absolutely absorbed in it (in which case I can go on for hours and not notice!).
I found the way to work yet not get bored, was to break all work up into small chunks. When I was 15 I started timetabling my whole day into 10-20 minute chunks. I would, for instance, lay out my maths homework on my desk and answer a single question. I would then go downstairs and practice the piano. I would come back up and answer another single question. Then I would go read something then return and answer another question and so on. My parents would see me pottering around, reading, messing on instruments etc and despair that I was not getting my maths homework done. Yet, by the end of the evening it was always complete. It seemed to them I’d done nothing yet it had magically been done and it certainly felt to me that I’d needed no effort for the homework at all!
I point this out just as an example of how moving at speed from activity to activity worked for me. I’m not alone. People with ADHD tend to act this way. Once I figured this out, as a teenager, study was really not a bind and my grades finally matched my abilities. This carried on through two degrees and is helping me complete another Masters now. I hardly feel like I’m doing it most of the time! As a teacher, I’ve found that similar approaches in the classroom and encouragement to work at home in similar ways has yielded remarkable results. I still think there is a little ADHD in all of us if you can tap into it!
I hope this helps give you ideas and a little bit of hope too!
Beautifully written; love the humor and honesty. Best of luck to your son (:
Thank you so much. Glad you enjoyed the post.
Oh, I love this post. I’m the mother of a (medicated) 21 year old with ADHD (we tried other options but drugs have helped him get through school). I also probably have ADHD myself as I did poorly in school, didn’t finish college. But in my professional life I excel in part because of my ability to juggle a zillion projects, ideas and concepts at the same time. My mind seizes when I have one project — when I have lots, my mind is a Superball hitting all the right targets.
Good luck to your son — I hope he finds his way as you found yours and I found mine.
Thanks Elyse. It’s terrific to hear a little of your story and I’m very pleased you loved mine! I can empathise with the way you work so much – I’m just the same!
Oops. And once again, thanks Le Clown for this forum. It opens up so many hidden spaces for all of us and we’re all better for it.
Absolutely!
Oh, wow. You’ve described both me growing up and my preschooler now. My decision to get us both evaluated has taken on more urgency; I don’t want to have him go through what I did! Society has very, very strict roles for all of us to play, and crushes those of us who don’t quite fit.
Bravo for taking that on–and being funny, too!
Thank you for your kind words Cassandra. Yes, you are totally right that society has very strict roles for us to play. How we break those down, where and why, are harder questions to answer. Getting evaluated is one way but not for everyone.
I’m glad I did it because I learned something about myself in the process and came to a deeper understanding of who my son is and how to relate to him. We used to have a lot of fights between us – real battle of wills – but now we spend most of the time just having fun together as I ‘tune in’ to his wavelength rather than expect him to ‘follow and obey’ the social rules that ‘surely everyone knows’. I did it because I learned about both him and me and wanted to make our relationship as best as it could be. Trying to persuade society around us to change is a whole other ball game!
Good luck with your own journey and – I hope – adventure with your young one!
Your advice about tuning in is something I knew on a gut level–boy, do I hear you wrt those “battle of wills”–but reading it aloud from someone who has been there is priceless. My sole desires as a parent are to relate to and guide my son, so thank you for pointing me in the right direction.
“ADHD is only a curse when the environment around it will not budge and accommodate it.”
So true, so well put. In going through the history of the DSM, you can really tell what the values of the dominant society are by seeing how our definitions of “illness” and “dysfunction” change over time.
Oh I completely agree! the DSM is such a dangerous thing to use and believe in – useful though it can be. History is littered with examples of how the therapists have arbitrarily decided on what is ‘illness’ and what is ‘madness’ and so on.
I highly recommend to everyone interested in this the brilliant book “Against Therapy” by Jeffrey Masson. It’s horrifying to read what Freud got up to but worse to see that it doesn’t get much better!
Ken, thank you for sharing your story here. You have a beautiful family and you definitely have the right attitude. Sending good thoughts your way.
Thank you Wendy! Those good thoughts are much appreciated
The more I look at both my husband and my son the more I marvel at their unique abilities. I love them very much the way they are but I also know how painful it can be to see them sad at not fitting or not understanding. I think if medication helps that person to achieve in a fixed society without losing them then great, I also think if strategies make it manageable then that is great too. I really do think it has to be a lifetime balance and if my job is to facilitate life allowing my two boys to be twice exceptional then that works as they facilitate my boring, focused life into one of fun and dreams. ‘wifey’
Wise words from my ‘wifey’ that I dare not contradict
I think you’re right about the attitude both towards medication and managing. I certainly wouldn’t want to be seen as disregarding either, so I’m glad you made the points.
I’m not sure you could call your life ‘boring’ though you certainly CAN call it ‘focused’! I do know that I am very happy that you are the one trying to do the ‘facilitating’ in these two boys’ lives. Love you Mrs Kenthinksaloud!
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I love the way you have told the story of you and your son sharing ADHD. You have put a very real and healthy attitude forward on how you and your family have come to understand ADHD and not treat it as a a death sentence. You owning up to the way you treated ADHD students and your understanding of it prior to it being diagnosed as part of your lives is quite common … people just don’t admit it. Thank you for the life lessons.
My pleasure Michelle. I’ve given a little snapshot of everything that went through my mind (and continues to do so) hopefully in a humorous way but there is so much more that could be said – especially about the attitude of others towards ADHD. Most of it comes from ignorance because you can’t touch it, feel it or – in its entirety – describe it and that makes it a little bit like believing in Santa Claus for many. I truly hope and believe that the sheer weight of posts like this and many better ones (such as found on this blog of Le Clown’s) will bring about a change in perceptions in societies around the world. It’ll be a long time until it comes to Bangladesh though, I fear…
Well written and very informative. Thank you for sharing. I wish you and your son well in continuing to manage ADHD and the world!
My pleasure. Thanks for commenting!
This is a beautiful, well written post. My nephew was one of those lazy children who just needed a good hiding and his parents needed to learn the art of discipline. Don’t believe me, just ask his teachers. He suffered so much in school for years until someone sat up, took notice and figured he must have ADHD. Even with the diagnosis his teachers were no more sympathetic. In the end, he left that school. These kids don’t need to be fixed, they need to be understood
110% agree Storkhunter! Our school isn’t as extreme as that and it IS a recognised condition in the UK where we hail from but, nevertheless, it is rarely understood and, because you can’t see it, touch it, feel it, it becomes difficult to really appreciate that it is there at all. I’m sorry your nephew suffered so long. The best thing to do when a school just won’t adjust is get out. Best wishes
I’m from UK too. This happened in a UK school.
Sorry, I was reflecting back on my own situation. We’re British but in Bangladesh. I’m sure it did happen in a UK school. My point is that ADHD is recognised formally by the schools in the UK (unlike here in Bangladesh) but really not understood. The result can often be the same – ignorance breeds contempt.
The idea of recognizing something without understanding it is very common with ADHD, I think. Here in US, I’ve had zero understanding of it for my son from special education teachers, regular classroom teachers, family and even myself. I keep wishing I could just find the magic formula to get him to buckle down, get organized and make the grades his intellect indicates he could.
With my Thing II just doing exams at the moment and with the screams and hair-pulling Wifey and I are doing with him over revision, I can totally sympathise! I don’t think there is any magic formula – though there are systems which help. Finding what works for you and your child is the tricky bit…
All the naysayers who insist ADHD doesn’t exist, are welcome to borrow him for a couple of days. Luckily for me, they’ll soon send him back! He’s clever, gifted even and absolutely infuriating. Every teacher who’s ever thrown him out of class will one day come crawling back to ask his forgiveness, ‘cos he’s one who’s definitely going to go places. I can tell that even though he’s only 14
That’s the spirit! Good luck with his progress. Alas, I think you might be optimistic about the teachers asking his forgiveness. From my experience (20 looong years so far) of teaching and teachers, they rarely admit they were wrong even when the evidence is staring them in the face…
yup. nothing to argue about. it’s all there. kids aren’t all the same. just give them some room. talk to them. establish a relationship with them, and they’ll listen. most of the time. it worked when i was teaching.
Absolutely! Thanks for the support and the comment Rich!
no problem. good that you can add humor to a serious topic.
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