My Dark Mission.
As longtime readers of my work are no doubt aware, I have a single goal that has dominated my waking life and haunted my dreams.
I want, no, scratch that, I need to “make it” as a writer. To be brutally honest, I truly don’t know where this mission originally sprang from, but at times I become a man possessed by his demons. And make mistake, friends, the quest for fame and fortune does not originate from Heaven, but rather the darkest corners of you-know-where.
I still remember the day a colleague confessed that Neil Pasricha, author of the smash-hit series, The Book of Awesome, was a longtime friend. With only a passing familiarity to guide me, I decided to Google Mr. Pasricha’s work, only to discover that blog posts about snow days and bakery air can generate tens of millions of hits and can be successfully translated into a book series that sells millions of copies worldwide. My reaction was a simple one.
“I can do that.”
I was so full of it.
Once I began to return to terra firma, the task of actually crafting a blog became more than a little intimidating. What the heck was I going to write about? Posts about the healing power of bubble wrap were already being churned out by someone else and besides, I’m not a warm, fuzzy kind of guy.
At all.
Fortunately, the answer appeared in the form of yet another crazy hotel guest. I had my foundation and so I became “The Hook” and You’ve Been Hooked! was born. I soon realized I could be the “Anti-Awesome” guy and so I started The Book of Terrible blog.
I was on my way.
But my wife soon asked the all-important question, “Why a blog? Why does this mean so much to you?”
Why, indeed? Why are some of us obsessed with being a “star”? And what does it even mean to be one? Are The Kardashians better than the rest of us simply because millions of people know who they are?
But I wasn’t asking those questions of myself back then. Instead, I showed her a copy of The Book of Awesome I had checked out from the library. There was no way I was going to give my money to “the competition”. This was the first sign that my personality was changing, and not for the better.
“Just look at some of these entries,” I’d say, “Some of them are twenty words! And he’s sold millions of copies! Maybe I can do the same thing and we can stop worrying about our retirement or Sarah’s college fund.”
And so I set off to work, writing posts, and eventually, writing a book. I’d immerse myself in my work, sometimes to the detriment of my role as a husband and father. It didn’t help that my work space was the kitchen table; I found it difficult to write the next Great Canadian Novel while my wife was cooking a pot roast or my daughter wanted to chat about the latest episode of Glee.
At times, I was a moody, over-ambitious tyrant whose work was all-consuming. At times, I still am.
My fourteen-year-old daughter is a brilliant writer who has already crafted an entire fictional series that blows away anything I’ve ever written. She asks me for help but I always seem to be too busy to devote an extended period of time to helping her. “We’ll work on it soon. I’m just too busy right now.”
But it’s not me talking, although I recognize the man speaking those words. He’s the same guy who is jealous of the following Le Clown has amassed in short order.
He’s the man who wishes he had a tenth of the inherent talent of young Becca Cord.
He’s the guy who stares back at me when I look in the mirror some days. He sits beside me as I drive my writing career forward.
The trick is to make sure I don’t let him take the wheel.
About The Hook
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Hell of a post, Hook.
I thought the same when I started a blog – put up a few posts, be loved by millions, cash in.
Turned into something completely different.
Hope you find the time to write with your daughter!
I’m making the time, buddy. Thanks.
Brutally honest, but great, post.
Most days I don’t care about who does or doesn’t read my blog, but every so often these thoughts creep up. Why this person and not me (even though I am new to this)? Then I think, maybe I don’t want to have that level of recognition yet since I am not sure how I would handle it. So I keep rambling on for myself.
I think you have the right idea, my friend.
I’ve loved the blogging as a creative outlet, but I’d like to write something more substantial than just the latest think to click on. But yeah, it’s hard taking time away from the family to sit in a corner by yourself and write. I skipped doing it when I was raising my daughter, but am still hesitant to do it and sacrifice the life I currently have.
I’m looking forward to checking out other posts here and see what they say. Thanks for the recommendation.
Nancy
I appreciate the feedback and the visit, Nancy. Thanks.
The Hook,
Thanks for this post… It took balls of adamantium to write this piece.
Le Clown
Hey, I’m Wolverine!
Seriously, Le Clown, thank you for the opportunity. I appreciate the chance to spread my writing wings and bare my soul, as it were.
By the way, I’m sending you an e-mail. I hope you get this one.
Loved this post, Hook. I can relate to the feeling of trying not to let certain parts of me take the wheel. This post made me wonder about something in myself…is it about gaining fame, or gaining financial security doing something I love, and fame seems to be the only means to get that sometimes?
HAha. Thanks for being the inspiring writer that you are, and for making me think! 
No, thank YOU for taking the time to read and comment. I love being called inspiring by pretty girls!
I can definitely relate, as I’ve felt very similar at times. I hope it all works out for you.
We’ll see…
Thanks for the visit and feedback.
Great Post, Hook – as always. The hardest part, for me, is this back and forth btwn ‘how can it be me when so many people are competing and so talented?’ to ‘why couldn’t it be me?’ to ‘what if I attain something; how do I maintain it?’ …. while you run towards success – I fear it, yet want it.
At the very least you know what you want and have published your works – the crummy part, as you noted, is the time it takes to devote to it that takes away from other things. I very much admire what you have accomplished and what you continue to do. Keep moving forward ~
The admiration is mutual, my friend. Thank you for always being there.
That’s what friends are for, my friend ~
Seems like you’ve sketched and acknowledged your alter ego..now to flesh him out and let him write, or to try to plot his murder…? Sounds like a story to me…
You have a brilliant and beautiful mind. Thank you for the inspiration.
Ha, thanks. I try.
Great post, and I think most of us have these internal battles, whether it’s in regard to writing, or something else we really want. Thanks for sharing, and at the very least, I think it’s great you know who should be doing the driving!
The hard part is keeping him on the passenger side.
Talent and drive are one thing (well, two things, actually) but a lot of it comes down to luck, being in the right place at the right time. Only luck could have created E.L. James, Maybe that’s a bad (and frustrating) example. The point is you can’t create luck, only encourage it.
I have a small regional following (in the real non-blog world) and I’m happy with that. Would I love to be beloved by millions? Of course! But for the moment (and perhaps for always) I revel in the fact that I’m beloved by dozens. Find the joy in the fact that, right now, right here, people are reading and appreciating your words. Produce the best work you can and take pride in it. If that’s not enough, you need to ask yourself what you’re doing it for, because fame may never come.
You’re very wise. I’m happy where I am right now, trust me
Cool… girl?
Oops…
Ha. I’ve been called worse.
If we ever meet, you get one free shot. But not in the face, please.
Hello rossmurray1,
I’m a regular, ahem, reader (‘loudmouthed commenter’ would be more appropriate) of (on) Hook’s blog, and I feel confident saying, that even from a distance, I find Hook a content person with his life overall. I am not implying that you meant otherwise, rossmurray1, I’m merely discussing this point further.
But just like me and everyone I know, Hook would like certain parts of his life to be better.
And like me and everyone I know, Hook says it out loud.
But unlike me (sometimes) and everyone I know, Hook does it on his blog.
And that’s because, and I quote Hook, “My blog, my rules.”
Amen.
>Find the joy in the fact that, right now, right here, people are reading and appreciating your words. Produce the best work you can and take pride in it. If that’s not enough, you need to ask yourself what you’re doing it for, because fame may never come.
- I agree with you, rossmurray1. This school of thought can be applied to every aspect of our lives. It’s something I try to practice. Thanks for the reminder. Can never get enough of those. *smile*
Kate
No argument here. Thanks!
Hook, it’s truly tough trying to find time to feed your passion in between all of life’s other demands. With three children, a job, and other responsibilities, I know this all too well. However, making it as an author is tough considering the amount of sheer talent out there. As I’ve found since I started this blogging adventure, there are MANY talented writers and story-tellers out there and a lot of them can’t get published because the market is already saturated with talented writers and story-tellers. That doesn’t mean you’re not worthy, it just means it’ll take time to get noticed.
I happen to think you’re a fabulous writer and story-teller, one who mixes glimpses of yourself in with hilarious wit very, very well. I hope you don’t get discouraged, because I think you’re talented enough to make it.
I appreciate that, buddy. We’ll see how things work out.
Wow. What a fantastic post, man. Seriously.
And I believe every one of us has that something in them, whether it’s writing or something else, we just hate admitting that – and mostly to ourselves.
Kudos to you, and it certainly does not make me want to read you any less
But help your daughter every once in a while dammit! Maybe she’ll include you in her books! Haha.
I’ve made several course corrections, Pixie Girl. Promise.
Once again, I am very proud of you. Truly.
Hook, I’ve been thinking this for awhile but have never felt comfortable saying it but since you have written this…here goes. You know the phrase, “Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?” That’s what I think about your book. I think you are a witty, clever writer. I love reading your blog so when your book came out I downloaded the sample. Funny – yes, clever-yes, well-written – yes. But not different from the blog. So why should I plunk down $$ when I can get all that cleverness for free? For a time you posted a work in progress on your blog but I’ve lost track of it. It was a different genre and peaked my interest. Yes it was a rough draft but it had a lot of possibilities. My 2 cents, keep writing the blog but start something else that you will send out to a publisher. It can be humor and based on your experiences if that is your comfort area but not identical to the blog. I’ll shut up now.
Love you Hook, but I have to agree with this one.
I love you too, Jennifer.
You suck, but I love you too.
Kidding! Mostly.
Yes, I suck. But it try to be honest also. (If we cant be honest with our friends, whats the point?). Loved the book, it was just like a blog marathon…
Thanks, Jennifer.
If i write a second one, it will be original and awesome.
I hope.
Looking forward to it
I assume you are agreeing with me and I’m glad since I just had a lot of trepidation writing that comment.
I can see why!
But I hear you loud and clear. I appreciate everyone that reads my blog, but I figured the book would also reach people that haven’t visited my corner of the web before.
As I’ve said before, I’ve learned a lot from self-publishing my book and if I decide to put myself through that kind of ordeal again, hopefully the resulting product will be more successful.
Which wouldn’t be hard.
Yes, I just couldn’t write it.
I’ve learned a great deal from publishing my first book.
!) Who my friends are.
2) What not to do.
3) Just how difficult it is to market your work and especially how much some people love to simply ignore self-published authors rather than reject them.
4) The importance of listening to your critics. Those that aren’t douchebags, that is.
By the way, you’re a friend. A brutally honest one, but that’s the best kind.
Glad you didn’t take offense. Keep writing.
Will do! You too.
>So why should I plunk down $$ when I can get all that cleverness for free?
- Hmm. Valid point, jlheuer.
Hook, something to think about mebbe?
Kate
As a fellow Niagara resident (born and raised) I feel compelled to tell you that I own “The Book of Awesome”. It was a gift. Given to me by someone who fell for all the marketing smoke and mirrors surrounding it. The book is crap. Sorry, but it is. I’ve seen the guy interviewed and he is quite smart and knows what he is doing. It doesn’t change the fact that the book, which is probably a franchise now, is nothing more than a “pet rock” type gimmick. Keep writing.
Thank you, Michelle, I will.
Thanks for writing this. I think a lot of us struggle with these same conflicts and questions about our motivation and worthiness.
I know I do.
My husband always tells me to follow my bliss, but what if that bliss never produces money? It would be easy to let blogging take over my life. My email box is full of so many posts I want -and feel obligated- to read and I don’t currently have a ‘day job’ to balance it out. There are so many talented, funny, ignoring and PROLIFIC bloggers out there and it’s fun to support each other. But to what end? The growing friendships are nice, but what about the people in my own community? I could go on and on…
And I’d hang on every word, Kylie.
Thank you.
That’s because you’re a hook.
The more you write, the easier – the better – the writing gets. It’s like priming the pump. Hook, you’re always awesome. Keep that guy in the mirror riding shotgun if you like, but keep driving the writing.
I intend to. Thanks!
I have enjoyed your writing very much. I wish you the best with your ongoing writing endeavors.
Thank you.
Hook, I can totally identify with what you say here. That said, I’m a little speechless. I’m not sure how to comment because I struggle with many of the same things. It’s hard to find balance, hard enough to make the time to write. It’s seem to write successfully, one needs to be consumed by it, although it seems some writers have found a way to have their family life and still manage to write. I’ve gotten a lot out of writing my blog, although sometimes it prevents from writing my book. I have one started. You’ve written one, so hats off to you! Be true to yourself, write what you need to write and you won’t be disappointed. I also think selling a book is a whole other piece of it that is separate from the writing of it. There are so many good books that don’t get read and a lot of crappy books that make a lot of money. Keep writing. This is what I tell myself…
I think you’re right, my friend.
Thanks.
Hookster, we all have these things in us. You are a talented and funny man. You will succeed! I am a firm believer in the power of positive thinking. Keep that in mind. Keep that focus (but still pay attention to the family) You have it in you to make it happen. I have always sabotaged myself. I see it, looking back. In many ways I’m a coward. I am trying harder though. My writing blog has stories that I usually keep to myself. I’m a very private person. I am using that blog to become more social and open. I’m hoping it makes me a better writer. Keep doing what you are doing, I feel you have other stories in you to write. Believe in yourself and those beliefs will become real.
Don’t ever call yourself a coward, Jackie.
Yours is a courageous soul.
Thank you Hookster! I appreciate it
Not many can come clean about their insecurities on the same platform they’re insecure about. Kudos to that! I’ve often wanted the glory of being a writer so much, that I’ve jeopardized any chances of me writing honestly. When I read my writing sometimes, I find it difficult to imagine me ever writing something like that, and not in a good way. I guess as you put it, I need to shove that side of me in the trunk, better yet yank it off the car. Thanks for writing this
Thanks for reading it.
Dear Hook,
I like this post. I find it funny because I had the very same thought about “The book of Awesome.” It’s good, he came up with a brilliant idea, and it worked out very very well for him. We each find our niche. But acting on what you are good at helps to keep you moving forward. And it shows the rest of us it’s possible. Thanks.
Thank you. I needed this.
This speaks to me a lot, because I came to the same feeling from the opposite angle. I started my blog out of desperation for an outlet when I was going through a difficult time. I knew there were other people in my very specific position (Kiwi in London) that might relate and appreciate an honest appraisal, but mainly, it was for me, and maybe so my mother back home knew how I felt.
But as soon as I started getting attention for it, suddenly it was all obsessive stats-checking and feeling immeasurably dwarfed by the blogostars like Le Clown and Weebs and Becca and speaker 7 and Tracy Fulks and the list goes on. If they weren’t so awesome and nice I’d bloody hate them!
I find I have to remind myself on a ten-minutely basis why I’m blogging, which is to a) vent, b) help out others like me, and c) see if I like this writing caper at all. That should be all there is to it, but the stats page still lures me in.
My big question for you is: If there was an option to hide the stats page… Would you? Could you?
Nah, I like checking my stats; they keep me sharp. But I hear you loud and clear.
I had my moments of jealousy as far as Le Clown and co. are concerned, but then I realized the only blogger I had to beat was myself.
That didn’t sound right, but you get the idea, right?
We are our own worst enemies.
I think I understand now, I get it. but self pity be damned. Honest. And that’s what’s important. be honest with yourself and the rest shall flow.
We’ll see, Jennifer. I think I have a pretty good handle on things now, but we’ll see.
Hook,
I’m the guy that wishes his Dad gave a fuck about what makes me happy. I’ve been trying to find a common bond between the two of us my entire life. Never happened, and prob never will. I’m sort of jealous that your daughter has a mentor like that in you. Stay behind her always. Teach her to fly.
I’ll do that, Adam. She is usually the one to teach me.
By the way, I’m jealous of your talent, youth and blogging partnership, so we’re even.
And your dad has no idea what he’s missing out on, man.
Hey, you wrote a book, sir – something I don’t know anything about. If you ask me, book authors are a few rungs above bloggers.
And I sincerely appreciate the kind words. That kinda stuff really props me up when I’m floundering, which is moe often than not. Wish the old man could read that comment..
I haven’t spoken to my father in over ten years. You’ll be stronger in the end, buddy.
And you shouldn’t be floundering; you had a virtual date with Becca on Valentine’s Day. It doesn’t get much better, buddy!
My husband is expecting me to make a mint out of the book I write out of my blog. I figure I’ll make him a mint julep one of these days and call us even.
Sounds good to me.
> I figure I’ll make him a mint julep
- Cin cin … to the (mental) comeback, Elyse!
Kate
I understand what you are saying Hook. I too get driven to the point of it having a negative effect on my family. We just have to try to find balance. I’m still looking.
Let me know if you hit pay dirt, all right?
Hook,
I echo what others have said–you are one courageous and honest guy. Thank you for opening up your insecurities to help us deal with ours. I’m sure we have all had the same thoughts, but few of us acknowledge them ourselves much less reveal them to others.
When I have these thoughts, I remind myself that the Universe is a productive, unlimited, giving, and creative entity. One could get caught up in some guy named Jesus who sold more books than anyone, but God did not stop creating after Jesus. There is room for everyone in the Universe. We are so blessed that the internet has made publishing so easy and so global. I try to tell myself to be a cheerleader for others success. If I don’t succeed at least I enjoyed watching others blossom which is a different form of success. I know I’m sounding like the “I love rainbows” kind of guy, but I am starting to realize that we are all connected, so your success is my success. On that note, I’m headed to Amazon to buy your book. {{{Hugs]}} Kozo
You rock, Kozo.
Thank you.
Rainbows rock, and so do you Kozo! On that note, so does Rarasaur, funny how she pops up in other people’s meanderings now–we are all totally connected!
>besides, I’m not a warm, fuzzy kind of guy.
- Yes, I’ll admit that this side of you is not detected right away. I didn’t at least. But I scratched beneath the growling, I mean, the surface, guess what I found there? Hello.
Actually, I wasn’t surprised to find out that you are a (different sorta) fuzzy dude because whatever it is you ranted about could only come from a warm, caring place.
I’m glad that I am the (fairly) patient person I am today. That’s how I did not dismiss the negativity (to me … but now I know it’s not!) and I got to notice the real you emerge in a sentence or sometimes a word, buried in your posts.
>I’d immerse myself in my work, sometimes to the detriment of my role as a husband and father.
- If Vampire Lover and Sarah are still around, it means you weren’t as bad as you think you were, Hook. They knew about this passion (not obsession) of yours and they accepted that things would change around the house while you worked at it. You’ve said it many a time in your posts – you are lucky.
>The trick is to make sure I don’t let him take the wheel.
- I doubt you would. Recognising your (potential) demon is half the battle won. Besides, I think if that unwanted dark person did manifest in your posts and we, your readers, would …. something that rhymes with ‘kick your behind’. *wink*
(This is Le Clown’s blog, too, so I don’t want to ruffle his multi-hued mop of curls with an emoti… am I allowed to even say it? *grin*)
Hook. Serious stuff now. I simply HAVE to say that I feel gypped with this guest post of yours.
In your post:
‘Black Box Warnings, Charlie Sheen Wannabes, and An Incredible Comic Con Announcement.’
(http://youvebeenhooked.wordpress.com/2013/02/15/black-box-warnings-charlie-sheen-wannabes-and-an-incredible-comic-con-announcement/)
you said this:
>>Before we begin, click here and you’ll be directed to Black Box Warnings, a safe haven where bloggers can share another side of themselves, free of the restrictions of their individual blogs. It’s my turn today.
- But really? I’ve not learned anything new about you, Hook. Well, certain details of your quest to make it big are new, but that you WANT to make it big? Old news. I’m not being dismissive or sarcastic.
>My Dark Mission.
- I want my money back. Orrrrr some *real* dark aspect of your life! *grin*
Oh, and Congratulations on yet another guest post, Hook! Woo hoo!
Kate
Le Clown is in charge of refunds, Kate.
*dripping (fake) sarcasm*
Pass the buck, Hook. Pass the bleeding buck ….. but grab ‘n don’-leggo of them green coloured, paper ones, which I hope will flow your way! *fingers crossed*
Kate
Kate,
Hello!! And by all means, I started this blog, but I feel it now belongs to the community… So feel free to emoticon it out! I still have nausea looking at them, though…
Le Clown
>And by all means, I started this blog, but I feel it now belongs to the community
- Such maturity can only be repaid with (mutual) respect.
>So feel free to emoticon it out!
- Thank you kindly, Sir.
>I still have nausea looking at them, though…
- So refrain I will. It’s not difficult at all, actually.
Hope your back’s being less of a pain, Le Clown.
Kate
A wonderful, honest post, Robert. It took a lot of guts to write this. I know you’ll spend time with you daughter helping her write because you are a good father. And you are a good writer. People wouldn’t follow you if you weren’t. We love your work. Thank you for this post.
As always, thank you for reading, Marie.
Good, good stuff, Mr. Hook sir. It’s hard not to be consumed when you see others who are where you want to be. I try to think of it as motivational and inspiring. Even when my stomach is churning and my teeth are gritted and I can barely through the smog of envy. And look at where you are now—you have a published book, a great blog following, and this is just the beginning! So take a few deep breaths and tell those demons to piss off.
Sound advice. Thanks.
Good grief man, with all the comments I had to scroll through just to post my singular drop in the comment bucket … your Anti-Awesome must be some powerful stuff!
I think a lot of us are Authors in waiting. We see books like “The Secret” take off and think to ourselves,”If that drivel can make the press, why can’t mine?”
… wait. What? You think I have an answer? Nope. That was as deep as that pool ran. If I knew the secret to achieving the great Canadian / American novel, I probably wouldn’t be blog surfing. But, it’s OK. I’ve read plenty of blogs with more personality and depth than most books out now-a-days. (Example; Kardashian Konfidential) So IMHO, getting a book to press shouldn’t be the all consuming goal.
- If you make it (& it appears you have) well, good for you! More power to you, but don’t forget your blog. A book is grand and all, but your blog allows you the human element a book can’t deliver; the instant feedback. And unlike the hot air book reviews can blow up one’s skirt, your actual readers will be far more honest, because all they have to gain is more of your work. And THAT, is what really feeds our obsession – isn’t it?
I think you’re right.
Thank you for the brilliant insight.
Nice work Hook. Your fame arises. : ) I too want to craft a novel…I’m bad at organizing one tho. And good at thinking WHO WOULD READ THIS CRAP? When I think of writing one. Oh well. YOU have a novel…keep going Hook!!!
Thanks.
Keep up the good work yourself.
I think many of us fall victim to the overwhelming desire to be famous is some way. I know I have. It may not be writing, but I don’t think it matters what it is because it distracts us from the many other important things going on in our lives. I often think, would I be happier if I had that but at the expense of everything else. Sadly, I fear that the answer is “no” and then I wonder why I invest so much time into the endeavor.
This is an amazing post, both for it’s writing and for what it says to people… Great job!
Thanks! That means the world coming from you.
The Hook,
Thank you for sharing. My one bit of advice which I give myself whenever I see people with loads of followers or comments or whatever is “you’re not them. Continue to be yourself. You don’t want to be anyone else. Besides, it’s taken you long enough to get happy in your own skin. Why waste that effort?”
So, be yourself. It’s who you’re best at being. And I’m glad to read that you are spending more time writing with your daughter. (Maybe get her published, then she can put herself through college?)
Faith Xx
I like the way you think, Faith!
Thanks for the insight.
The Hook, you’re welcome. Even in a religious community it’s easy to fall prey to the thoughts of “if only I was like…” or “if only I could…” and having a blog and following some high profile folks can also make the green-eyed monster pop up as well!
I really liked this post. It’s honest. We all want recognition, even if we differ in our motives for it. Sometimes I feel like the dorky kid trying to get in with the popular crowd, but then I have to remind myself to sit back, just be me, and let it happen. I’m rubbish when I’m trying too hard.
You’re never rubbish, Ashley!
Brilliant post, really raw and honest, fantastic
I think we can all relate to some of the points you raise, the corners we cut to put that little more time into writing and blogging. I guess the most important thing is to enjoy the writing itself, that way wherever it takes us we at least enjoyed the journey.
Reading your stuff, it sounds like you like what you do, it comes through in your posts and that’s why people dig your stuff
Keep going, keep writing!
Rohan.
I’m not going anywhere, Rohan! Thanks for the insight, buddy.
Great post, Hook!! I’ll be back to read more of them.
Thanks for stopping by, and for the praise, of course!
This reminds me of Walter from Fringe. I think we all have that side of ourselves. Oddly enough, it’s probably the same side that holds you back from accomplishing what you are trying to, and the fact that most 14 year-olds have yet to develop it is why your daughter can tap in to her natural talents (at least I was better writer when I was younger and didn’t have the driving beast of ambition at my back). Ambition removes honesty from the creation process by degrees until all we are left with is the darker half and empty words . . . and whiskey!